Martini Rescue Squad

INTRODUCTION

This blog is not about how to catch a man, lose a man or make your man happy.  It is not about how to arrange a seasonal flower bouquet, where to get a facial or starting your own business on eBay.  I don’t have any advice about how to fulfill your parents’ expectations, make an amazing three-course meal in 45 minutes or sleep around, but do so in style.

Nor will you find in here any insight about being single for the sake of being single, being in a relationship for the sake of not being single or getting married because all of your trusted role models show you that is what you are supposed to do at this point in your life.  Forget everyone else’s timeline.

Admittedly this all started as a “Rah, rah for singledom!,” subtext: “Oh, God, this is great - why don’t people just stay single forever?”  No, it wasn’t going to encourage you to run out and book your annual photo shoot at the Sears studio with you and your pet in matching holiday sweaters, but the subtext was celebrating singleness as a relief.  That was about 10 years ago, as I was emerging from a relationship that had rotted long before I clipped myself loose.

Then the rah-ness settled a little and more balance crept into the picture.

I have not yet married.  Over the last nine-plus years of being single - i,e. not in a serious relationship - for most of which I have been absolutely single-but-dating except for a few brief flickers, I started to hear something entirely different.  This was not the fireworks and Main Street Parade through Singleville with my single friends and me as the majorettes as I had sometimes imagined.  Instead, all of the excitement settled into a strong, steady and beautiful hum that has continued as a promise to all of us.

The promise is that being single where and when we are now is our exquisite opportunity to make the most of this time to become our most self-fulfilled.  To become our most us.

That is what this blog is about.

There are many books and blogs about that, but the problem is most of them are written by people who are not single, are not our age or are not even women.  Instead, this book is a peer expert’s guide to being happy now.  Not when you get the boyfriend or the promotion or when you lose the 15 pounds.

It is about making the most of being single today and happy about it.  About not being in a rush toward anything, but embracing everything with peace and a fair amount of sarcasm.  About being happy with our life exactly how we make it.  The bigger picture.

If you are not happy with your life as it is, then perhaps you will find some encouragement on here to change it.  That’s your call.  Enjoy.

ATTN: Martini Rescue Squad - Referrals to COVID-19 Resources

Hello, M.R.S. –

COVID-19 causes tremendous stress for everyone, no matter our circumstances.  If you are worried about this virus, feel scared or feel alone, please read this.

*If you feel like you are on the brink, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) site refers visitors to the Disaster Distress Helpline.  The toll-free number is 1-800-985-5990 or you can text TalkWithUs to 66746 to connect with a trained crisis counselor.

You might also find what you need by dialing 211 on your phone or visiting this site: http://www.211.org/services/crisis.

Squad, please use the M.R.S Facebook page at this link to post suggestions or links to resources you have found that others could find helpful: https://www.facebook.com/Martini-Rescue-Squad-120839664614032/.

We are absolutely all in this together.

As for general suggestions, this CDC link provides some excellent tips and links to additional resources that you might find helpful: 

https://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/daily-life-coping/managing-stress-anxiety.html

Scroll down to the “Ways to cope with stress” section, which suggests the following:

• Take breaks from watching, reading, or listening to news stories, including social media. Hearing about the pandemic repeatedly can be upsetting.
• Take care of your body.
• Take deep breaths, stretch, or meditate.
• Try to eat healthy, well-balanced meals.
• Exercise regularly, get plenty of sleep.
• Avoid alcohol and drugs.
• Make time to unwind. Try to do some other activities you enjoy.
• Connect with others. Talk with people you trust about your concerns and how you are feeling.

The page at the link above provides hyperlinks to resources to aid with each of those suggestions.

~~~~

Everyone is stressed out.  Online, you can see single people expressing how they feel cut off from the world, which exacerbates this virus’s insidiousness.  Coupled people with children express how difficult it is to sustain their work obligations while caring for their little ones and protecting those little ones from the tremendous fear they feel.

While this virus is terrifying, I am repeatedly impressed and strengthened by everyone’s shared urgency to connect and be of service to one another.

A high school friend in the Pacific Northwest has posted a video of his Dave Matthews Band cover on his acoustic guitar. Who knew?  He’s musically gifted as well.

College friends from across the country who have become teachers have posted links to educational resources for their friends’ children in all grade levels.

Groups of friends are having virtual Girls’ Nights Out (G.N.O.s) and birthday parties via Zoom. 

Others have created online support groups, recipe exchanges and a variety of other forums. 

And some friends have posted heartbreaking news about their loved ones.

There really is not a way to make light of this global situation, nor does that seem appropriate.  At the same time, none of us is obligated to let this virus sentence us to solitude.  Please reach out.  We're all here.

Best wishes to you and your family.

Personally Amused/Frightened...

If you would like to be morbidly amused and slightly alarmed about the maturity level of your fellow motorists, please read the terms and conditions for ordering a personalized California license plate: 

https://www.dmv.ca.gov/wasapp/ipp2/initPers.do

...Do the other 49 need the same preventive measures? Curious.

Happy St. Patrick’s Day!

P.S. It’s been a while. A long while. Pardon. But it’s for a couple of very good reasons, both big and tiny. Have a great weekend.

 

 

”Strong Women Would Rather Be Alone Than Spend Their Time With A**holes”

Ladies, we already get this:

http://ewao.com/2017/11/16/strong-women-would-rather-be-alone-than-spend-their-time-with-assholes/

Lots of love to you, MRS!

"Understanding Your Gaps: Why Some People Succeed and Others Don't" - Lolly Daskal

Here's a thought stimulator for your Wednesday:

https://www.inc.com/lolly-daskal/understanding-your-gaps-the-difference-between-people-who-succeed-and-people-who.html?cid=nl029week14day05

Cheers, MRS.

To catch your dreams...

On a dingy corner at an intersection/cross section where the dreamers and workers are indistinguishable, small reminders to keep being both are beautiful.

Have a great week, MRS.

 

"How Algorithms Choose Your Valentine" from NBC News

Happy Valentine's Day, Squad!

I'm not sure about trusting math to find anyone's soul mate.  In fact, many of us can probably attest to how many times those dating apps must have forgotten to move the decimal or carry the 1...

 

There is so little about each of us that any app could actually quantify.  All an app can do is introduce us to suitors.  We and our prospective partners are on our own from there...But sometimes those matches work.  

 

It's interesting to hear how much calculation goes into what seems pretty random.  Enjoy this piece from NBC News:

 

"How Algorithms Choose Your Valentine":  http://www.nbcnews.com/video/how-algorithms-choose-your-soulmate-87617337958

 

Cheers!

 

 

Hey, Squad - Field trip?

Happy New Year!  And every other holiday the last several months.  Pardon me for going MIA.

Hopefully this time has been wonderfilled.  Or at least better than the year before.  

We have so much up on which to catch...to catch up on.  However, I saw this at dinner last night and thought it would make you laugh.  Had to share sooner than later. 

Even if we don't all drink, this place speaks our language.

Have a great weekend!

Paige

Hmm...

It’s rational to go to irrational lengths to protect yourself from things that will probably never happen, because peace of mind is priceless.*  Right.

*(Feel free to throw quotation marks around any of the preceding words for a little laugh).

In all seriousness, have a terrific weekend.

...Life is good.

One Saturday a couple of months ago, I had to drop off something at work.  It is in a pretty creative, interesting part of town...but who can take the time to slow down and soak it all in, right?  Right.

That morning was the perfect time to finally do so.  And this little guy, sitting contently in the community garden, had uncanny timing.  Luckily for everyone who sees him, he makes the same point everyday.  It's a good one.

Cheers, Everyone.

Yo. "Whole Foods Parking Lot"...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2UFc1pr2yUU

True.