- Written content
- Be as brief or as verbose as you wish – don’t shoot for quantity, shoot for quality
- If you can be funny and maintain interest, write two whole pages
- If you go for length, chop it into visually bite-size pieces; four-sentence paragraphs TOPS
- If you think you make a much better impression in person, i.e. you written profile may not be as funny or charming as you think, less can be more.
- Stay concise, imply there is more to you than just a profile.
- Please, please avoid the "How do I describe myself in 2,000 words?" intro.
- Please.
- If you can be funny and maintain interest, write two whole pages
- However, make it as long as you need to get your point across and to reveal your true colors…no empty words.
- Do not resort to digital short hand. Unless u want 2 date a 14 year-old. LOL.
- If you want to mention your deal breakers or wish list, be as specific as you want, but don’t be mean.
- For wish list, if you want to be specific, be funny about it, e.g., “Seeing you walk into the room has to take my breath away. That, and I’m asthmatic.”
- Do not be too specific, as if you want a Stepford Wife. Or your ex-girlfriend who magically fits all of those criteria. And over whom you may not quite be.
- For deal breakers, but don’t do it in a mocking way, or you will seem like a jerk - Again, If you can, make them funny.
- The “I know my expectations are high, but I'm willing to wait for the lady I want. And besides, you might be a better fit for my friend, Bill. I owe him one” approach is charming, but only when the rest of your profile can back up that humor
- The “If you need a guy to hold a door for you, if you can’t go out without your designer sunglasses and if you get jealous every time I talk to another girl…” approach indicates issues.
- Huge get-six-months-of-therapy-and-call-me-never issues.
- Don’t start every sentence with “I.”
- I want…, I have..., I buy…, I’m looking for…, I vacation in…, I’m on track for… = “Are you my mommy?”
- Don’t imply you have money or a successful job.
- Leave income blank
- Question that information when people provide it.
- Don’t refer to your work in your bio, unless in a vague, open-ended way, e.g. “I’ve got a job that keeps me really busy, but it’s rewarding and I enjoy it.”
- Leave income blank
- DO NOT articulate your own incredulity about being on the site; “I can’t believe it’s come to this,” or “If we hit it off and anyone asks, we met through mutual friends…,” or “I never thought it would get this bad out there.”
- Get over it.
- You can write that you are looking for a great lady, but don’t go overboard about how your life lacks anything without one.
- Or that you have everything you want in life, but a lady with whom to share it. Begs waaaay too many questions.
- Be as brief or as verbose as you wish – don’t shoot for quantity, shoot for quality
- Pictures - *Guys, it’s the first thing at which a normal lady looks, just as it’s the first thing you check out on her profile. It’s very important to provide the right balance.
- Pick ones in which you look natural, not so posed.
- Good idea: With buddies after a baseball game, with your uniforms and hair a mess, but looking confident and happy. Very good. Conveys confidence and vitality.
- Bad idea: You on the phone at an immaculate desk without any paperwork on it or a single wrinkle in your suit, staring off at an angle and looking powerful. Seriously?
- Who in the world has a completely clean desk?
- Pick a variety, not more than about 10-12 – five min.
- At least one of you looking nice, scrubbed up – suit, tux whatever – but nothing that implies you’re Trump. Unless you’re Trump.
- One of you in casual, but good-looking clothes – jeans and t with flip-flops
- No pro athletes’ jerseys!
- No tank tops/wife beaters. Unless you’re a male model. See below.
- Body shots - Sure, show off your body, but don’t do a meathead muscle man glam shot
- Good idea: After a 5K for charity
- Bad idea: You doing yoga poses in the desert, in sepia tone
- Wow: You, shirtless and wearing jean cut-offs, sprawled on the hood of a Trans-Am. Even if you are a male, ahem, model.
- Scary, but true.
- Show pictures of you with fun, good-looking people laughing, enjoying time with you.
- Yes, do show pictures of you at a party, on hikes with coed groups of friends or tasteful pictures with other girls – a couple of them. You don’t have to be alone with them.
- Approach advisedly
- Yes, do show pictures of you at a party, on hikes with coed groups of friends or tasteful pictures with other girls – a couple of them. You don’t have to be alone with them.
- Self portraits
- No self-portraits where you can actually see your arm extending between your body and the camera
- No mirror shots with you making a Blue Steel face.
- If you must resort to a mirror shot, make it funny.
- No pictures with children or babies unless you are their father.
- If you have children, disclose that
- If you mark that you don’t have children and don’t mention how much you love your sister’s great kids - but still have lots of pictures with you and small children - know that would scare most sensible women.
- Pick ones in which you look natural, not so posed.
- Approach to the first date:
-
Don’t jump straight into inviting for coffee until you have e-mailed, then spoken on the phone.
-
Build desire and anticipation – do not ask her out right away
-
Winking is an OK icebreaker, although it seems lame. It’s the simplest, least commital barometer for interest.
-
E-mailing is better – pick up on something they wrote on their profile, then send them something brief and genuine.
- Be funny or romantic, but not obsequious
- One successful, very stealth tactic is to point out how a couple of their standards disqualify you, but think they are cute and still want to hang out anyway and see where it goes - but be sure the disqualifiers are peripheral, i.e. not values-related.
-
- Do not write something like, “If you think you could be into me, e-mail me back” – assume of course she’ll be into you
- Instead, I suggest something that asks her a question. If she’s into you, she’ll reply.
- Please avoid using too many exclamation points and parentheses – avoid the latter altogether, if you can.
- No emoticons. Please. Again, not unless you want to date a 14 year-old, in which case, you should not be on a dating site.
- For the first date, you can leave it open-ended or schedule it between commitments, depending on the vibe you get from the lady
- If you enjoy talking to her and think it could be fun to spend more time with her, leave it open ended.
- Good idea: meet at a café in a popular area with lots of people and diversion, in case the conversation lacks
- If the date goes well, you can walk to a restaurant nearby for lunch or dinner
- If the date is not so great, something you see can conveniently remind you of that thing you promised your buddy you’d pick up for him. Before the store closes in 20 minutes.
- Bad idea: a hike in a deep forest or on a secluded beach, miles away from traffic and anyone who could possibly rescue her if you're perhaps a bit psychotic.
- Good idea: meet at a café in a popular area with lots of people and diversion, in case the conversation lacks
- If you are a busy person, or think it would keep things interesting to be a little less available, schedule that first coffee between commitments
- Good idea: meet her for coffee or lunch on a Saturday, after your sister’s kids’ talent show and before baseball with your buddies. The league championships.
- Bad idea: roll in 20 minutes late, do not take off your sunglasses, imply you’re late, because last night was just cra-hay-hazy – oh, and you have to leave early, because you’re meeting this hot girl from your gym for a drink after this date with her.
- If you enjoy talking to her and think it could be fun to spend more time with her, leave it open ended.
-
- Be yourself and have fun.
Comments