"Loved this blog! As a single man in my thirties this really touched me, it's what I am going through myself, thank you Ms.Nesbitt, look forward to reading more of you." - M.S.
"Paige I love you and your blog. Just as I am having dinner w/ high school ex tonight, college ex in town next week and contimplating exclusivity w/ current suitor...you appear with this blog. Cheers to singlehood and to you!" - C.
"I finally had a chance to enjoy this- it made me reflect upon my own “lay over” situation of post divorce. Should I move closer to family or not move? Should I buy a house or continue to rent? Should I seek out a new partner or not? And in a blink of an eye, three years have flown by and I realize that sitting at Chilis on an extended layover is not serving me well. So, as a first step I am buying a home. Please tell Paige thank you for the reminder." - K.
"I read your article because my sister thinks I need to learn how to treat women and all I can say is what is Gavin thinking? You are smart and more importantly, hot." - O.
"Location, location, location is the most important variable In real-estate. In relationships, it is timing, timing, timing. Beautiful child, this old Shadkhan has brokered more than condos and knows that the best way to keep The man when he comes along, while keeping your obvious enthusiasm, and your entertaining sense of humor is to develop a bit of mystery, to maintain a bit of wonder, an abundance of faith, abundance and an abundance of passion. Shalom" - H
"As a young widow of nine years, your blog post hit home. Even though I have created a life I finally love again, I often land in similar conversations. I understand people who care about me want me to be happy...but between my salsa dancing, the successful launch of my transitions & grief recovery coaching business and my amazing network of incredible people, I AM happy. There is no missing piece...so thank you for beautifully articulating about the always caring, sometimes humorous, perhaps every so often slightly annoying view by others that we need a partner to be living a whole life! Great job!" - C.B.T.
Posted by Paige at 03:06 PM in advice, relationships, Travel, Weblogs | Permalink | Comments (0)
Tags: independent women, Malibu, martini rescue squad, Paige Nesbitt, single, single women, singleness
Reblog
(0)
| | Digg This
| Save to del.icio.us
|
|
Posted by Paige at 02:44 PM in advice, Food and Drink, relationships, Travel, Weblogs | Permalink | Comments (0)
Tags: Cape Cod, ice cream for dogs, independent women, martini rescue squad, Paige Nesbitt, single, single women, singleness
Reblog
(0)
| | Digg This
| Save to del.icio.us
|
|
Posted by Paige at 12:00 AM in advice, Food and Drink, Travel, Weblogs | Permalink | Comments (0)
Tags: Duomo, florence, independent women, martini rescue squad, Paige Nesbitt, Piazza della Signoria, Santa Maria del Fiore, single, single women
Reblog
(0)
| | Digg This
| Save to del.icio.us
|
|
(To be continued next week...)
[1]Tourists in Florence. (2008, June 26). The Florentine, Issue 82/2008. Retrieved from: http://www.theflorentine.net/articles/article-view.asp?issuetocId=3313.
Posted by Paige at 09:00 PM in advice, Food and Drink, relationships, Travel, Weblogs | Permalink | Comments (0)
Tags: chianti classico, florence, independent women, martini rescue squad, Paige Nesbitt, pellegrino, single, single women, valentino
Reblog
(0)
| | Digg This
| Save to del.icio.us
|
|
Posted by Paige at 12:00 AM in advice, relationships, Travel, Weblogs | Permalink | Comments (0)
Tags: Big Nance, happy, independent women, martini rescue squad, Paige Nesbitt, Queen Mum, single women, thirties, twenties
Reblog
(0)
| | Digg This
| Save to del.icio.us
|
|
Posted by Paige at 12:59 AM in advice, relationships, Travel | Permalink | Comments (0)
Tags: happy, independent women, interview, job interviews, martini rescue squad, Paige Nesbitt, single women, thirties, turtle, twenties
Reblog
(0)
| | Digg This
| Save to del.icio.us
|
|
Hell is being the only single person at a Valentine’s Weekend destination wedding on an island full of married people.
Let’s review the situational specifics: Even if your parents left you a voicemail singing “Happy Valentine’s Day to you” to the tune of the Happy Birthday song, you would not know it until you got back to your home airport a few days later.
These were the thoughts that floated through my mind, and in that order, as I packed my little suitcase for my friends’ wedding weekend in the tropics last year.
It started with a small contraction in my abdomen, then migrated up to a full-body, ridiculous guffaw. “This was going to be fun!,” I laughed.
I knew it would be a fun weekend. The bride and groom are perfect for each other. Half the guests were the bride’s family and friends from New Jersey and I did not yet know any of them. It would be great to finally meet the people of whom we West Coasters had heard.
The groom’s half were his family and all of the people who would have been at our buddy Bryan’s backyard parties in Southern California, circa 1994. People I’ve known and loved for most of life. Plus husbands/ wives/significant others.
There we all were, all 85 of us, on an island that is five miles long and one thousand miles off the coast of possibility. This is the kind of situation that provides the clarity that is tough to replicate.
If you slow down and listen, you get an oddly privileged view into all kinds of relationships, including the one you have with yourself and with that bizarre little thing called expectation.
How often do you go out of town and pack a lot of expectation? You may have a detailed itinerary, thus your expectations are based on things going according to plan.
Your expectation is your support structure for your whole trip and even if you spontaneously deviate from it, you can take comfort in the idea that this intangible schedule exists somewhere in the atmosphere and you can return to it when you please. You can feel like the expectation gods are happy to have you back on the schedule.
You may just be leaving town on a whim, thus you have very little specific expectation – other than doing things on a whim. In a way, that can be a comforting expectation as well.
This trip was the middle ground. I knew everyone was flying in on Thursday from New Jersey, California and a few places in between. The rehearsal dinner was to be on Friday, the wedding on Saturday and on Sunday, we would all fly home. Other than that, and being the only single adult who would attend, I knew nothing.
Upon arrival at the sleek, open and breezy resort island a mile or so off the mainland coast, anything I had that was close to expectation evaporated. I also quickly realized my error – there were four single adults at the wedding; three women and one man.
That first night however, one of the women and the only man connected leaving on the whole island…yes, two single women. Cassie and me. Cassie is one of the bride’s best friends from college.
For all intents usually associated with Valentine’s Day, destination weddings and tropical islands, we were each mutually exclusively the only single adult on the whole island. We resolved that first night we would be each other’s evil twin for the weekend. We used the word “evil” more to amuse ourselves than anything. It was for laughs, not intention.
That Friday morning, all of us trickled down by the pool and I noticed the most interesting patterns in how we all scattered to different lounger clusters. Who talked to whom, what they discussed, what were everyone’s priorities, about what were they bragging, worrying, laughing…I got to spend the day migrating between them.
This is when I mostly quieted my mind, though not my mouth, and let the day happen. It was breathtaking.
In some moments, I was flashing back to the sidelines at our little league soccer games, to high school proms, 21st birthday parties and weddings.
In others, I envisioned 10-20 years in the future, imagining how our lives will look then. Imagining how everything I saw at the pool will shake out down the line.
Cassie was one of eight beautiful, clever and fun women at the wedding with whom the bride had gone to high school or college in New Jersey. None of their husbands/boyfriends could make it, so they took the weekend to catch-up with each other. By dinner on Friday, they had adopted me as an honorary Jersey Girl.
By sunset the next evening, the bride and groom had said “I do” on the beach. By 1 a.m.-ish, most people had taken a bow after their dance performance art and gone back to their rooms. By the next afternoon, almost everyone was back at the airport, headed to wherever we call home.
It was an incredible weekend.
A few weeks ago, some 16 months after the wedding, the bride and groom and I made dinner plans to meet a very special little lady. Their gorgeous, sweet and peaceful baby girl.
We met in their home and as they gathered the baby bag and stroller, I took a minute to look at their photos on the wall – their courtship, the wedding, the Jersey Girls, the groom’s and my high school friends – and one forceful reality blew through me. Time does not ever stop.
If we cannot feel comfortable moving forward without thinking we know how everything will or should pan out, our expectation becomes baggage. And even destination weddings on tropical islands can seem like hell.
Posted by Paige at 12:00 AM in advice, relationships, Travel, Weblogs | Permalink | Comments (4)
Tags: destination wedding, independent, martini rescue squad, paige nesbitt, single women, thirties, twenties
Reblog
(0)
| | Digg This
| Save to del.icio.us
|
|